#lemme give you a rundown of my life #i’ve spent 60 years in the wilds of the north being a god damn ranger #i’ve tracked down motherfuckin gollum and brought him to mirkwood #do you know what mirkwood is #do you know the kind of spiders that live there #yeah i thought not #i have battled orc armies in THREE CONSECUTIVE MOVIES #I HAVE RAN ACROSS THE FIELDS OF ROHAN #do you know how big that is #it’s like the english countryside but as big and as wide as motherfuckin canada #(i’m guessing) #i have battled the RINGWRAITHS. ya that’s right. all nine of them. WITH A TORCH. AND FOUR HOBBITS WIELDING TOOTHPICKS. #with the one ring as bait #i have been dragged down a cliff by a fuckin warg #i have summoned the armies of the dead to defeat the corsairs of umbar #i have lived a hard motherfuckin life and if you think bad dental hygiene will scare me then bitch the only scary thing about that is the amount of STDs i can catch if i stick my tongue in your mouth #go home. you’ve been dismissed.

1. dontthinkbeawesome liked this
2. quixotess liked this
3. paperchariot liked this
4. cockr0cket liked this
5. tightlippolitics reblogged this from crepsley and added:

   I just about died.

6. left-my-heart-on-gallifrey reblogged this from universeinaball
7. beakiddo reblogged this from poisonousstrawberries
8. coulsens reblogged this from crepsley
9. neutralice reblogged this from crepsley
10. ethereal--illusions reblogged this from crepsley
11. ricachan reblogged this from stepchildofthesun
12. jabberart liked this
13. jabberart reblogged this from dewynter
14. kingdomkorra5531 liked this
15. kingdomkorra5531 reblogged this from poisonousstrawberries
16. whatyoucanovercome liked this
17. holzmantweed liked this
18. angeliquekatia reblogged this from theblacksophisticate
19. agnosticviking liked this
20. geeky-gamer-girl reblogged this from crepsley
21. xxcrypticripper reblogged this from masterassman
22. ghosts-in-this-machine reblogged this from karnythia and added:

    oh dear god the tags… XD XP

23. dreamsawayfromthisplace liked this
24. epicimpulse reblogged this from bryanthebassist
25. seedy-street liked this
26. taco-of-awko reblogged this from lovelyshipsandtea
27. neonslacks reblogged this from crepsley
28. catharticintentions liked this
29. universeinaball reblogged this from eastcollins
30. daspurpledog reblogged this from kateswaterbender
31. aquilldeferred liked this
32. ahkrin reblogged this from crepsley
33. melaniehershberger liked this
34. yelltocursethewind liked this
35. 0mg1tz3lmo312 reblogged this from anji-beast
36. the-singing-light liked this
37. havocijaat liked this
38. pinkmilktea reblogged this from lovelyshipsandtea
39. frytha reblogged this from karnythia and added:

    This guy was my first fictional crush and this is pretty much why. Badass is sexy!

40. blissfullyblogging reblogged this from lucky-red
41. brittadictarnoldd reblogged this from anji-beast
42. fishnetandfundip liked this
43. chromiumred liked this
44. kateswaterbender reblogged this from inhellsdespair and added:

    THOSE TAGS THOUGH.

45. toooz reblogged this from dewynter
46. wickedetiquette liked this
47. vakarianify liked this
48. darkpuck reblogged this from karnythia
49. blissfullyblogging liked this
50. thebear-o-dactyl reblogged this from southernfeminist
51. Show more notesLoading...